The One With Issues

So, after 12 days at home, Denbele acts as though she's always been here. I mean I know that there will be difficulty and grief around the corner, but right now the girl just seems giddy with—I don't know, relief. Last night, she went on this little happy jag, running around the house, smiling, laughing, practically exploding with joy. Nick and I were translating for her as she babbled (or sophisticated jargonned as the pediatrician put it) and assumed she was saying something along the lines of this:

"Oh my god! Why didn't anyone tell me that this is what the purple people take you to! This is awesome. I have like four adults paying constant attention to me. And the toys rock. And the food! OMG, the food is so good. I thought I was like going to kiddy jail but this, this is so fun. I have to tell the kids back home. Wait, there's that toy again. And my sister. Oh, have to give Mama a hug. And drool!"

Which isn't to say there is no turmoil in the Forman/Tucker home. Willa, our almost five-year-old vacillates between being the most sweetly adoring big sister and being a giant pill, wallowing in self pity, no matter how much positive reinforcement, attention and big-sister treats she gets. She's pretty up-front about her feelings: "You love her more because she's smaller," she announced last week, to which I told her my big secret that in my humble opinion, the whole reason to have babies and toddlers was so they'd grow up to be big girls. And today, she flat out asked me: "Who do you love more?" "I love you differently," I replied, "and I love you the same amount." I've also explained to her how seeing her as a big sister has made my love for her grow. I don't know if it gets through. And I think she's milking it a bit. But judging by all the books we've been reading about little sibling arriving and big siblings wanting to run away after the baby's arrival (A Baby Sister For Francis and Peter's Chair) this is pretty universal.

I knew it would be tough. Unlike with a baby baby, Willa gets the double whammy of a new sibling and a fully animated new sibling who wants to play with the toys. On the flipside, Denbele loves to play with Willa and they have games they play together, the favorite being one in which they sort of slap their hands together then pat their heads, then clap and then whoop then Denbele hugs Willa and drools—it's absurdly cute—and Willa loves to be imitated. Unless she's In A Mood and wants to be left alone.

Oh well, this morning they woke up and Willa told me she didn't like "her" (not Denbele, not her baby, just her) anymore and tonight she sang her baby an impromptu song and kissed her all over. What tomorrow will bring is a mystery. Just like always. But here's a picture of them being cute together. Or perhaps Willa is testing to see just now breakable D's neck might be. You never know.