Continued Love from Ethiopia

Yesterday we were lucky enough to have Peg (from CHSFS) and Tsewaye stop at our house. They were in the area visiting another family that recently adopted a child from Ethiopia and agreed to stop by to visit with us and Mitiku.

Everything is going great with our transition, but we wanted to have someone sit down with Mitiku and explain to him that once summer is over he will start going to school (the same school that his big brother will go to). We wanted to make sure he understood that Kim would drop him off in the morning and meet him and TJ at home when they get off the bus in the afternoon.

Mitiku really enjoyed the visit and talked with Tsewaye for over an hour about his friends, nannies, school, America, Ethiopia and many other things. He was very proud to show her his new room and loved that she brought him a large bag of Kolo to snack on.

This visit again showed us how much everyone involved with the Ethiopian adoption program love these children. It was so nice of them to stop and ease our fears about school. After our visit Mitiku understands he will go to school in the fall and he is very excited to start going to school with his older brother. However Kim and I will be sad to see the summer end, the time that we have been able to spend at home will all of our children has been amazing and it will be hard to see it end.

Mmm, Cat Barf

Okay, so my life is now spent chasing Denbele around and shouting variations of "No, don't eat that!"

Seriously, no matter how clean we keep our apartment—admittedly, not immaculate, but not that bad—she finds whatever and attempts to eat it. Sunday, before breakfast, she had an appetizer of paint and rocks from the back patio. After breakfast, she was too quick, and found the fresh cat puke before we could get to her in time. I'm not sure if the hosing down of her throat she received did much good because today I had to pry one of Willa's discarded hair ties out of her mouth. She was chewing it like gum.

I don't know if the rest of you are finding your child's appetite to be endless, but so far I have yet to see Denbele turn away food of her own volition. We always end the meal, much to her loud protestation (this after like four courses). I assume it has to do with being malnourished early on but whether the need to eat, constantly, is physical (evolutionary need to pack it on while she can, not physical need now because she's in the 30th percentile for weight and, as you all saw, a pudge) or psychological , I'm not sure. Combine that with her being a toddler and teething and not understanding a bloody word we're saying—and, it's tough. I feel like we spend a lot of time reprimanding her but at the same time, it's her safety on the line, but on the same token, I don't want to traumatize her. Right now, every time I go NO!!!, she blithely puts down whatever she was munching on and goes on her merry way, looking for some other death object to mow on. Seriously, it's constant. If she's not in sight, she is eating something she ought not or disassembling the few non baby-proofed things in the house.

Life is not boring right now.

XX

Gayle

Dinner at Fasika in St. Paul, MN

As Sara mentioned in her last post our families had dinner together at Fasika (if you are ever in St. Paul make sure you stop for some awesome Ethiopian food). We had a great dinner and I was glad that the rest of my family (Kim and TJ) were able to meet Andy, Sara and Tirfe.

It was also fun for Mitiku, he loved seeing Tirfe again (at least I assume he did by all of the big kisses he planted on her cute little cheek). He really enjoyed eating traditional food again, had fun interacting with other Ethiopians and being able to speak Amharic and actually be understood ;-)

After dinner we went across the street to the Addis market to pick up some spices and a few other things. Before we said our goodbyes we were able to get one good picture of the kids (Arlo and Aesa were not able to join us this time). I think Mitiku is actually tired of having his picture taken!

We wish that we lived closer to the rest of you so we could all enjoy nights out like this. I guess we will need to start planning trips to AZ, DC, NY, IL and CA to see the rest of you!

Hope everyone is enjoying the summer - can't wait to continue to read your updates.

Getting adjusted with Sami

Okay Gayle and all - here's a little post on Sami and how it's all going. (I know that I'm your reference to being tech-tarded!!) Pretty funny. You'll see I'm going to get better and even put some pictures up one of these days...

So the first few days or was it a week - was a blur of family and friends and Sami playing with all of his new cousins, grandma, aunts and uncles. He had a blast. But then of course I had to get him settled in so he could get his sleep and life in order. He was pretty overwhelmed, so much stimulation.

He's been to a dinner party with Febronio (my significant other) and a group of mostly adults that speak mostly Spanish. Again he really enjoyed it and socialized until he dropped. The Mexicans in attendance really appreciated his use of word "caca."

He's been swimming - met the neighbor kids, and also met his new daycare provider (beginning in September). He seemed to like the kids (only 2m who are also 2 years) and Lucia.

I'm just amazed at how well he's done. The nannies cared so well for the kids and taught them really well, as I'm sure you've all experienced. It's made our lives that much easier because of their dedication and love.

Glad to read how well it's going for all of you - I think of you often.

Take care.

Jane

Love from Wisconsin

A hearty hello to you all! It is great to read about your families and see pictures. We miss you guys every day, wish we all lived closer so we could pop over to your houses and say hello in person. This weekend we do get to see Jason, Mac, Mitiku, Mommy Kim, and Brother TJ at Fasika, and enjoy some yummy wat and injera.

Things at our house are going really well. Our trip home was pretty smooth, Tirfe hung out (literally) strapped to Andy in the ergo. I only recall one crying fit, when the flight attendant insisted she sit with her back to our chest as we took off. T wanted to snuggle in and lay her head on our shoulder, so as soon as we reached altitude (or as soon as the flight attendants sat down :) we flipped her around and she was appeased. It took me about a week to get over jetlag and we all got a bit of a cold upon return, but we are feeling better and finding our groove now. I just wish I could find someone to do dishes, fold laundry and put it away...we'd be set.

Tirfe is a tiny little wonderwoman. She is an amazing soul, so so so amazing. Her brothers' think she is pretty fabulous so far, I am sure things will change a bit once she is on the move, but for now all is well. She has consistantly slept through the night since we got home, which to me is about 85% of what is challenging with parenting an infant. She is a joy. We are starting to get better glimpses of her real personality day by day. We are seeing big huge gummy smiles, belly laughs, and noticed the fact that she really doesn't suck her thumb constantly, like she did while we were in Ethiopia. Now she sucks her thumb only while she sleeps. She has mastered the bottle and slams them in one minute flat. She had a double ear infection and some nasty congestion for the first week we were home, but seems to be feeling much better.

The family's adjustment has been great, better than we expected. It feels right, perfect, even sublime. I assume we will be working through some more grief in future weeks and months. We are ready. We are family.

I am so humbled that we were able to share that awesome week in Ethiopia with you all, so honored to know you and your children. You are the only people in our lives who experienced that week with us, saw us meet our daughter and shared those moments with us. That is cool...or gobez maybe? Give all your konjo kids a kiss from us. Hope everyone is well. Feel free to email us anytime :)

Here are some pictures of the kids since we've been home!

xoxo Sara

The One With Issues

So, after 12 days at home, Denbele acts as though she's always been here. I mean I know that there will be difficulty and grief around the corner, but right now the girl just seems giddy with—I don't know, relief. Last night, she went on this little happy jag, running around the house, smiling, laughing, practically exploding with joy. Nick and I were translating for her as she babbled (or sophisticated jargonned as the pediatrician put it) and assumed she was saying something along the lines of this:

"Oh my god! Why didn't anyone tell me that this is what the purple people take you to! This is awesome. I have like four adults paying constant attention to me. And the toys rock. And the food! OMG, the food is so good. I thought I was like going to kiddy jail but this, this is so fun. I have to tell the kids back home. Wait, there's that toy again. And my sister. Oh, have to give Mama a hug. And drool!"

Which isn't to say there is no turmoil in the Forman/Tucker home. Willa, our almost five-year-old vacillates between being the most sweetly adoring big sister and being a giant pill, wallowing in self pity, no matter how much positive reinforcement, attention and big-sister treats she gets. She's pretty up-front about her feelings: "You love her more because she's smaller," she announced last week, to which I told her my big secret that in my humble opinion, the whole reason to have babies and toddlers was so they'd grow up to be big girls. And today, she flat out asked me: "Who do you love more?" "I love you differently," I replied, "and I love you the same amount." I've also explained to her how seeing her as a big sister has made my love for her grow. I don't know if it gets through. And I think she's milking it a bit. But judging by all the books we've been reading about little sibling arriving and big siblings wanting to run away after the baby's arrival (A Baby Sister For Francis and Peter's Chair) this is pretty universal.

I knew it would be tough. Unlike with a baby baby, Willa gets the double whammy of a new sibling and a fully animated new sibling who wants to play with the toys. On the flipside, Denbele loves to play with Willa and they have games they play together, the favorite being one in which they sort of slap their hands together then pat their heads, then clap and then whoop then Denbele hugs Willa and drools—it's absurdly cute—and Willa loves to be imitated. Unless she's In A Mood and wants to be left alone.

Oh well, this morning they woke up and Willa told me she didn't like "her" (not Denbele, not her baby, just her) anymore and tonight she sang her baby an impromptu song and kissed her all over. What tomorrow will bring is a mystery. Just like always. But here's a picture of them being cute together. Or perhaps Willa is testing to see just now breakable D's neck might be. You never know.

We are family

Home at last - not the best picture, but I know you guys know that feeling of sinking into your couch for the first time after that insanely long flight....

Wow. I'm having a hard time knowing where to begin. This whole experience has been so surreal.

Yonas has been doing really well and the kids have welcomed him home with open arms (for the most part - sharing toys is a different story.) :) Towards the beginning of the week there were so many firsts that our sweet little buddy was going, going, going 24/7 - I never heard "I'm bored" from ANY of the kids all week. He kept us all hopping. :) The past few days, on the other hand, I've noticed him settling in a little more - sleeping through the night, eating more regularly, not running everywhere he goes, etc. But along with that settling and absence of constant distraction, we've both noticed he's beginning to work through some grief and adjustment to all of this newness. Absolutely necessary and good I know, but tough to watch because neither of us have the language to go there with him. It's funny - I can't wait until we're communicating more easily in English, but I wish at the same time that he'd never lose that sweet little-boy Amharic. I love the songs especially. :O)

Anyway - just wanted to check in. I posted a hilarious little video on my blog. Check it out here if you feel like grooving with my boys. ;)

Hope all is well with everybody and look forward to more updates!

Home

We had a great trip home (very long) but Mitiku did great. The hardest part was leaving Ethiopia, he became very sad after everyone headed off to board different planes and we had to sit and wait. I found a woman at the coffee shop that spoke English and Amharic, she was able to talk to him and explain that he was still going to America he just had to wait a little while longer.

As we landed in New York he says "Americana" it was so cute. Mitiku is adjusting well and we are very busy during the days which has made bedtime a snap. During the day we are either riding bikes, swimming in our pool, playing at the park, going to soccer or just hanging out in the front yard kicking the soccer ball.

Mac and TJ are doing great and they both really enjoy their new brother. They have been very patient and they are always trying to help him learn new words. I look forward to having the next couple of weeks off from work so we can continue to adjust to everything.

Let's get this puppy rolling!

Hi all:

I will do a proper post soon, with pictures of the girls and funny stories, etc. but I just wrote an epic post on my own blog about the experience at my own blog, which if you want, you can read here:

But in the mean time, here are a couple of photos of Willa meeting Denbele. Us as a family. And me and my girl at the playground.

So far so good...

XX

Gayle, Nick, Willa and Denbele.