enjoying the winter.

not sure about the rest of the kids but mitiku loves to be outside in
the cold and snow (if we only had more snow!) kim has taken him ice
skating for the first time and last weekend we finally had enough snow
to go sledding. we are supposed to be in the path of a storm that
could drop up to 20 inches of snow starting late tonight. mitiku is
very excited about the possibilities of "big snow".

i posted a short video on our family site from our sledding adventure.
if you have a minute take a look: www.thyen-nies.com

happy holiday's --

it's official...again.

well its official, this time in minnesota. this morning was mitiku's re-adoption court date. it was a very simple and fast process. a few questions from the judge and then he signed the adoption decree. from there it was off to the social security office to apply for his social security card.

the only thing remaining is filing for his u.s. citizenship. more paperwork, documentation and fees and then everything will be done.

mitiku brought cookies to school to celebrate and we had a cake after dinner to celebrate as a family. we are so blessed to have him in our family.

brunch.

i keep forgetting to write a quick post. a couple of weeks ago we had andy, sara and family up to our house for brunch. we had a great time catching up and the kids had fun playing together. we are thankful that we live so close to them and only wish that we lived closer to the rest of you!

hope everyone is having fun getting ready for the holidays. enjoy!

Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells

Christmas is right around the corner. Deg is ready. He was the shepherd in the pageant. (bottom picture). That is him smiling about our first big snow (more on that later). Up top, Deg takes on the Christmas tree.

Hey everybody! Just thought I'd post the pics I just gave to our social worker in preparation for our 6 mo. post-placement report. Can you guys believe it's almost been 6 months?! There are days it feels as if Yonas has been with us forvever and days of adjustment when I feel like we're still trying to figure this all out. In general, to sum up the past 5 months for us, the first 2-3 months were our "honeymoon" stage - Yonas was obedient, quiet, and observant, while his siblings were all about pleasing him. Months 3-4 were rockier for us. The honeymoon was over, Yonas started majorly coming out of his shell (which was mostly good but tough at times), and the newness of his presence had worn off of his siblings...ugh. Now at month 5 I can say we're finding more of a groove. Yoni is catching on to what is appropriate when, and he's totally jumping into the mix of the other kids - everyone is feeling so much more secure within our new family structure, and things are going smoother. I'm still a bit grossed out about the whole wiping constant boogers and giardia poop, but hey, builds character, right?! :)

Oh, and on another note, yesterday, as Yonas and I were cooking some Ethiopian food for friends coming for dinner, we really got talking about life in Ethiopia. I decided it would be a great opportunity to sit down and watch his birth history video with him for the first time. It was a beautiful thing. He would say, "I member dat!!!" And then when the narrator would say his name, Yoni would say, "MOM, he say YONAS!!!" all smiles. :) And he couldn't wait until his big sisters and brother came home from school to show them. It opened up such an amazing opportunity to talk about things and to just cuddle on the couch and pour love into him while sharing something so deeply personal. A neat moment.

Hope all of you had a wonderful Thanksgiving and are enjoying the Christmas season. I love seeing updates on all of your families - keep 'em coming! :) Love to all of you - Ross, Erin, and kids.

Happy Thanksgiving

Hi all:
Sorry for the radio silence. Willa started kindergarten, Denbele started daycare, I started work. The transitions kicked all of our asses. Willa had an insanely hard first few weeks of school and then, poof, just sort of stabilized, not just as school, but as a big sister, and a human. She's really blossomed these last few weeks.

Denbele then went full throttle into the throes of the terrible twos, or, just started getting comfortable enough here to grieve or deal with all the insanity she's been through. Boy, we thought Willa was defiant. Denbele is totally punk! She learned No and used it often. NOOOOOO for pretty much everything, even when it's against her own self interest. She went thru a period of having a tantrum any time Nick and I set boundaries. Because all those other people in the world think I'm cute and hold me and feed me and they don't make me put on my jacket or stop eating cake. Sometimes we felt like we're babysitting someone else's feral toddler.

But, as we approach Thanksgiving and get ready to take our first plane trip since that biggie last summer, I daresay things are calming down and D is starting to feel like my daughter--she's been Willa's sister all along. You think it's going to be instant. It WAS instant back in Addis but it hasn't been so instant at home. I've talked to other adoptive parents. Apparently par for the course, especially with toddlers.

Anyhow, that's the latest. Denbele has about 25 words now: Uppy, down, all done, cat, Willa (all yellow school busses are Willa because Willa takes the bus to school), so she's coming along. And she likes Barney, so she's truly indoctrinated.

Here's a shot of the girls.



Gratitude all around.
XX
Gayle

You can take the kid out of Ethiopia, but you can't take the Ethiopia out of the kid...

Checking in to see if there are any new posts....where are all of you?

In regards to the title, we went to Subway yesterday. Deg ordered a turkey sub. What else besides turkey? All of the hot peppers they could fit, of course!

Halloween was great. Its a wild ride we give our kids here in America isn't it? Just one thing after another. Deg went from walking from house to house to sprinting. What could be better than collecting candy from all of the neighbors dressed as Spiderman?

Pictures to come.

Deg lost his first tooth!

We hit another benchmark...the loss of his first tooth. Think he understood about the tooth fairy??

Sami's hat

Hello everyone,

I've been checking in on blog from time to time. It's great to hear and see how the kids are doing.

Sami is doing really well overall. In the past 2 weeks he's really thrived. We went through some temper tantrums and we've been able to teach him (we think!) a better way of getting attention.

In the morning we're going to Ethiopian Community Association for the beginning of 6 sessions on Ethiopian culture and history. Sami will get to play with other recently adopted kids from Ethiopia and I'll be in the session. Febronio, my mom and sisters plan on attending some of the sessions too. They'll talk about Ethiopian diaspora in US also and include a cooking class. I'm really looking forward to classes.

In these pictures Sami is wearing a hat he made at day care. He's giving Febronio a kiss in one of them. Sorry they are a bit blurry, I need to improve my photography skills (and get a better camera...)

Sami loves his day care - He really loves my friend Lucia so that makes me very happy.

Hope you all have a great weekend. Hope to see you in the near future. Let me know if you'll be traveling to Chicago we'd love to see you.

All the best,

Jane

Goal!

Degefa scored his first soccer goal this past weekend.  He turned around and gave Scott 2 thumbs up!

Degefa!

Just a quick update on Degefa. He is still a really happy kid. Catching on to the flexibility of daily living...(i.e. one breakfast is enough...he doesn't have to eat every time a sibling wakes up and comes to the kitchen). He officially starts preschool tomorrow and I think he is very excited!

Frist Day Of School

Today everyone started school. Mitiku woke up early and was very excited to start. He had a great first day and looks forward to going back tomorrow.

Sisters!

After five or so weeks, things seem to be settling down. Denbele is no longer attempting to eat cat barf or staples or pebbles and is also no longer inhaling every meal as though it were the Last Morsel of Food on the Planet. Willa no longer seems murderously insecure, fearful that our love for her will vanish like, oh, I don't know, the budget surplus. In fact, now the girls really do seem like sisters, and not just because they own a closet full of matching dresses (grandparents: they can't resist).

A few mornings ago, we woke up at 7:30 (in and of itself a minor miracle in the household of Denbele, she of the let's wake up with the first fingers of dawn). Willa called to us: "Mommy, my baby and I woke up at the same time." We went into their room to discover Willa in D's crib, D on her lap and happily babbling "Wiwwa, Wiwwa," this being the most recognizable new English word she has acquired. Mostly she still speaks in her own language, what my friend Marjorie calls Klingon. Willa, who is as moody as Bette Davis, can be ridiculously sweet, murmuring "Sweetheart, I love you" to Denbele a lot. The foul moods now seem aimed more at me, which is as it was before, though as I write this, there is conflict as Denbele makes incursions onto Willa's food. She's better, but still a food scavenger.

Last night, Willa drew this picture:

It's of her and Denbele in the bunkbeds, the bottom bunk of which still remains vacant as D is too small for it. Willa had to practice. There are a few bunkbed pictures scattered about. But I think this is actually the first picture Willa has drawn of the two sisters (I'm pretty sure the small Martian-esque thing on the bottom bunk is Denbele). This seems Significant. It seems Sisterly.

Anyhow, that's this weekend's milestone. They come fast and furious. We have to go. Everyone clambering to go to the playground now and Denbele is licking the phone. Baby steps.

XX

Gayle

Whirlwind Summers...

So, imagine a photo of Degefa with his shirt pulled up, a big grin on his face, and his belly sticking out like a beach ball. That is the one that I would have posted if I wasn't technically challenged. It was taken when we took him out to our local Ethiopian Restaurant where he out-ate all 6 adults and 5 kids that went along. We told him "injera" and "machina" and a bunch of hand motions starting at lunch to get the idea that we would be driving to an Ethiopian Restaurant for dinner that night. You know what, I think that he got it. Well, sort of. On the way to driving to the restaurant, he started asking about Mitiku, Yonas, and Hisikiel. And then I got it. He thought that not only would we be eating injera, but his buddies would be there too because that is who he is use to eating injera with. We helped him understand that it was just our family, but it did point out how confusing things still must be swirling around in his little mind.

Adjusting to our family and our crazy summer schedule hasn't been a problem for him. He has been going from one adventure to another and I think he is going to be a bit disappointed when the school year starts and we aren't nearly as exciting. I am still wrestling with the preschool vs. kindergarten dilemma.

Let's see. Some observations. I have found that equality is the name of the game. If I ask him to take a nap, he starts going through his siblings' names to see why they aren't taking a nap. If someone gets a bigger helping of some food, there is a "hey mommmm". There often is an "oulet" meaning why does she have 2 and I only have one? Its hard to explain using sign language and my 10 word amharic vocabulary just why in each of those instances, there is a good reason.

Scott calls Degefa his "half full" kid because he is a sunny kid. He is resilient. He has been through so much and he still greets each day with a smile. He adores Scott, aka the fun guy, and can't get enough of swinging around and shoulder rides and crazy, noisy, run around the house games. Me as mom, schleps through the day and is not quite as fun. I'm the one policing tooth brushing, telling him to put the telephone down for the millionth time, and chasing all kids outside to play.

He is kind of like having a toddler. A very fast toddler who wants to touch everything. I rationalize that curiosity is a very good thing. Degefa's mind is busy learning a ton of stuff in the process. Sometimes there is a disconnect with my expectations of him because of his age/size. We're both still adjusting.

Over the weekend, we got together with folks that had adopted a 6 year old girl in January. That makes it about 7 months that she has been home. She spoke English so well that you would have never known it was not her first language. That is the good news. The bad news is that she didn't retain any Amharic and she had no desire to. I would say that I'd like Degefa to retain his Amharic, but I'm not so sure he has a lot of it to retain. Like a lot of our kids, it was not his first language and I'm not sure how much of it he had processed before being adopted.

We miss you all very much. Degefa loves the pictures on your posts. I'll have to get my technical guy to get some pictures posted of Degefa...so stay tuned.

Reunion

We found out a couple of weeks ago that a family from Iowa adopted a child from Ethiopia two weeks before we did. I actually went to high school with the father and his parents still live near us. Well they have come home for the weekend to visit his parents and today they spent the day hanging out with Kim, Mac, TJ and Mitiku at the pool.

Mitiku was so happy to see and play with his old friend from Ethiopia. It was such a joy to watch them play and interact with each other. It was a great day!

SOST weeks.

Long time, short time, time. It's all a blur. But we miss you. Every single one of you. Tirfe is SITTING. CLAPPING. HIGH-5-ING. POINTing (especially at noses, tee hee) She is squeeling when the boys squeel (whether in joy or frustration), eating like a happy, happy baby. Beginning to look in our eyes time and again when we feed, rock, and love her. She is really something. I know you know. I know your kids are too, I really know. Our families are quite amazing.

Continued Love from Ethiopia

Yesterday we were lucky enough to have Peg (from CHSFS) and Tsewaye stop at our house. They were in the area visiting another family that recently adopted a child from Ethiopia and agreed to stop by to visit with us and Mitiku.

Everything is going great with our transition, but we wanted to have someone sit down with Mitiku and explain to him that once summer is over he will start going to school (the same school that his big brother will go to). We wanted to make sure he understood that Kim would drop him off in the morning and meet him and TJ at home when they get off the bus in the afternoon.

Mitiku really enjoyed the visit and talked with Tsewaye for over an hour about his friends, nannies, school, America, Ethiopia and many other things. He was very proud to show her his new room and loved that she brought him a large bag of Kolo to snack on.

This visit again showed us how much everyone involved with the Ethiopian adoption program love these children. It was so nice of them to stop and ease our fears about school. After our visit Mitiku understands he will go to school in the fall and he is very excited to start going to school with his older brother. However Kim and I will be sad to see the summer end, the time that we have been able to spend at home will all of our children has been amazing and it will be hard to see it end.

Mmm, Cat Barf

Okay, so my life is now spent chasing Denbele around and shouting variations of "No, don't eat that!"

Seriously, no matter how clean we keep our apartment—admittedly, not immaculate, but not that bad—she finds whatever and attempts to eat it. Sunday, before breakfast, she had an appetizer of paint and rocks from the back patio. After breakfast, she was too quick, and found the fresh cat puke before we could get to her in time. I'm not sure if the hosing down of her throat she received did much good because today I had to pry one of Willa's discarded hair ties out of her mouth. She was chewing it like gum.

I don't know if the rest of you are finding your child's appetite to be endless, but so far I have yet to see Denbele turn away food of her own volition. We always end the meal, much to her loud protestation (this after like four courses). I assume it has to do with being malnourished early on but whether the need to eat, constantly, is physical (evolutionary need to pack it on while she can, not physical need now because she's in the 30th percentile for weight and, as you all saw, a pudge) or psychological , I'm not sure. Combine that with her being a toddler and teething and not understanding a bloody word we're saying—and, it's tough. I feel like we spend a lot of time reprimanding her but at the same time, it's her safety on the line, but on the same token, I don't want to traumatize her. Right now, every time I go NO!!!, she blithely puts down whatever she was munching on and goes on her merry way, looking for some other death object to mow on. Seriously, it's constant. If she's not in sight, she is eating something she ought not or disassembling the few non baby-proofed things in the house.

Life is not boring right now.

XX

Gayle

Dinner at Fasika in St. Paul, MN

As Sara mentioned in her last post our families had dinner together at Fasika (if you are ever in St. Paul make sure you stop for some awesome Ethiopian food). We had a great dinner and I was glad that the rest of my family (Kim and TJ) were able to meet Andy, Sara and Tirfe.

It was also fun for Mitiku, he loved seeing Tirfe again (at least I assume he did by all of the big kisses he planted on her cute little cheek). He really enjoyed eating traditional food again, had fun interacting with other Ethiopians and being able to speak Amharic and actually be understood ;-)

After dinner we went across the street to the Addis market to pick up some spices and a few other things. Before we said our goodbyes we were able to get one good picture of the kids (Arlo and Aesa were not able to join us this time). I think Mitiku is actually tired of having his picture taken!

We wish that we lived closer to the rest of you so we could all enjoy nights out like this. I guess we will need to start planning trips to AZ, DC, NY, IL and CA to see the rest of you!

Hope everyone is enjoying the summer - can't wait to continue to read your updates.

Getting adjusted with Sami

Okay Gayle and all - here's a little post on Sami and how it's all going. (I know that I'm your reference to being tech-tarded!!) Pretty funny. You'll see I'm going to get better and even put some pictures up one of these days...

So the first few days or was it a week - was a blur of family and friends and Sami playing with all of his new cousins, grandma, aunts and uncles. He had a blast. But then of course I had to get him settled in so he could get his sleep and life in order. He was pretty overwhelmed, so much stimulation.

He's been to a dinner party with Febronio (my significant other) and a group of mostly adults that speak mostly Spanish. Again he really enjoyed it and socialized until he dropped. The Mexicans in attendance really appreciated his use of word "caca."

He's been swimming - met the neighbor kids, and also met his new daycare provider (beginning in September). He seemed to like the kids (only 2m who are also 2 years) and Lucia.

I'm just amazed at how well he's done. The nannies cared so well for the kids and taught them really well, as I'm sure you've all experienced. It's made our lives that much easier because of their dedication and love.

Glad to read how well it's going for all of you - I think of you often.

Take care.

Jane

Love from Wisconsin

A hearty hello to you all! It is great to read about your families and see pictures. We miss you guys every day, wish we all lived closer so we could pop over to your houses and say hello in person. This weekend we do get to see Jason, Mac, Mitiku, Mommy Kim, and Brother TJ at Fasika, and enjoy some yummy wat and injera.

Things at our house are going really well. Our trip home was pretty smooth, Tirfe hung out (literally) strapped to Andy in the ergo. I only recall one crying fit, when the flight attendant insisted she sit with her back to our chest as we took off. T wanted to snuggle in and lay her head on our shoulder, so as soon as we reached altitude (or as soon as the flight attendants sat down :) we flipped her around and she was appeased. It took me about a week to get over jetlag and we all got a bit of a cold upon return, but we are feeling better and finding our groove now. I just wish I could find someone to do dishes, fold laundry and put it away...we'd be set.

Tirfe is a tiny little wonderwoman. She is an amazing soul, so so so amazing. Her brothers' think she is pretty fabulous so far, I am sure things will change a bit once she is on the move, but for now all is well. She has consistantly slept through the night since we got home, which to me is about 85% of what is challenging with parenting an infant. She is a joy. We are starting to get better glimpses of her real personality day by day. We are seeing big huge gummy smiles, belly laughs, and noticed the fact that she really doesn't suck her thumb constantly, like she did while we were in Ethiopia. Now she sucks her thumb only while she sleeps. She has mastered the bottle and slams them in one minute flat. She had a double ear infection and some nasty congestion for the first week we were home, but seems to be feeling much better.

The family's adjustment has been great, better than we expected. It feels right, perfect, even sublime. I assume we will be working through some more grief in future weeks and months. We are ready. We are family.

I am so humbled that we were able to share that awesome week in Ethiopia with you all, so honored to know you and your children. You are the only people in our lives who experienced that week with us, saw us meet our daughter and shared those moments with us. That is cool...or gobez maybe? Give all your konjo kids a kiss from us. Hope everyone is well. Feel free to email us anytime :)

Here are some pictures of the kids since we've been home!

xoxo Sara

The One With Issues

So, after 12 days at home, Denbele acts as though she's always been here. I mean I know that there will be difficulty and grief around the corner, but right now the girl just seems giddy with—I don't know, relief. Last night, she went on this little happy jag, running around the house, smiling, laughing, practically exploding with joy. Nick and I were translating for her as she babbled (or sophisticated jargonned as the pediatrician put it) and assumed she was saying something along the lines of this:

"Oh my god! Why didn't anyone tell me that this is what the purple people take you to! This is awesome. I have like four adults paying constant attention to me. And the toys rock. And the food! OMG, the food is so good. I thought I was like going to kiddy jail but this, this is so fun. I have to tell the kids back home. Wait, there's that toy again. And my sister. Oh, have to give Mama a hug. And drool!"

Which isn't to say there is no turmoil in the Forman/Tucker home. Willa, our almost five-year-old vacillates between being the most sweetly adoring big sister and being a giant pill, wallowing in self pity, no matter how much positive reinforcement, attention and big-sister treats she gets. She's pretty up-front about her feelings: "You love her more because she's smaller," she announced last week, to which I told her my big secret that in my humble opinion, the whole reason to have babies and toddlers was so they'd grow up to be big girls. And today, she flat out asked me: "Who do you love more?" "I love you differently," I replied, "and I love you the same amount." I've also explained to her how seeing her as a big sister has made my love for her grow. I don't know if it gets through. And I think she's milking it a bit. But judging by all the books we've been reading about little sibling arriving and big siblings wanting to run away after the baby's arrival (A Baby Sister For Francis and Peter's Chair) this is pretty universal.

I knew it would be tough. Unlike with a baby baby, Willa gets the double whammy of a new sibling and a fully animated new sibling who wants to play with the toys. On the flipside, Denbele loves to play with Willa and they have games they play together, the favorite being one in which they sort of slap their hands together then pat their heads, then clap and then whoop then Denbele hugs Willa and drools—it's absurdly cute—and Willa loves to be imitated. Unless she's In A Mood and wants to be left alone.

Oh well, this morning they woke up and Willa told me she didn't like "her" (not Denbele, not her baby, just her) anymore and tonight she sang her baby an impromptu song and kissed her all over. What tomorrow will bring is a mystery. Just like always. But here's a picture of them being cute together. Or perhaps Willa is testing to see just now breakable D's neck might be. You never know.

We are family

Home at last - not the best picture, but I know you guys know that feeling of sinking into your couch for the first time after that insanely long flight....

Wow. I'm having a hard time knowing where to begin. This whole experience has been so surreal.

Yonas has been doing really well and the kids have welcomed him home with open arms (for the most part - sharing toys is a different story.) :) Towards the beginning of the week there were so many firsts that our sweet little buddy was going, going, going 24/7 - I never heard "I'm bored" from ANY of the kids all week. He kept us all hopping. :) The past few days, on the other hand, I've noticed him settling in a little more - sleeping through the night, eating more regularly, not running everywhere he goes, etc. But along with that settling and absence of constant distraction, we've both noticed he's beginning to work through some grief and adjustment to all of this newness. Absolutely necessary and good I know, but tough to watch because neither of us have the language to go there with him. It's funny - I can't wait until we're communicating more easily in English, but I wish at the same time that he'd never lose that sweet little-boy Amharic. I love the songs especially. :O)

Anyway - just wanted to check in. I posted a hilarious little video on my blog. Check it out here if you feel like grooving with my boys. ;)

Hope all is well with everybody and look forward to more updates!

Home

We had a great trip home (very long) but Mitiku did great. The hardest part was leaving Ethiopia, he became very sad after everyone headed off to board different planes and we had to sit and wait. I found a woman at the coffee shop that spoke English and Amharic, she was able to talk to him and explain that he was still going to America he just had to wait a little while longer.

As we landed in New York he says "Americana" it was so cute. Mitiku is adjusting well and we are very busy during the days which has made bedtime a snap. During the day we are either riding bikes, swimming in our pool, playing at the park, going to soccer or just hanging out in the front yard kicking the soccer ball.

Mac and TJ are doing great and they both really enjoy their new brother. They have been very patient and they are always trying to help him learn new words. I look forward to having the next couple of weeks off from work so we can continue to adjust to everything.

Let's get this puppy rolling!

Hi all:

I will do a proper post soon, with pictures of the girls and funny stories, etc. but I just wrote an epic post on my own blog about the experience at my own blog, which if you want, you can read here:

But in the mean time, here are a couple of photos of Willa meeting Denbele. Us as a family. And me and my girl at the playground.

So far so good...

XX

Gayle, Nick, Willa and Denbele.